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A Look at Iowa’s Dumbest Laws

March 22, 2016

Aside from being a state that is famously forgotten between presidential elections due to its low population and endlessly flat topography covered in corn fields, Iowa is home to a wealth of dumb and downright weird laws that might help you remember that the state exists in the shadow of Minnesota. Interestingly, Iowa is consistently named as one of the safest states to live in in the United States, and that may just be because of these wacky laws to protect its people.

Mustached men may not kiss women in public

If you sport any type of nose neighbor from a classic handlebar to a modern horseshoe, you should be careful about where you choose to show affection to your special lady within Iowa’s borders. In the state of Iowa, it is illegal for mustached men to kiss women in public. Even for those without mustaches, there are kissing laws enforced, as no kiss may last for more than 5 minutes.

One-armed piano players must perform for free

As if life as a one-armed piano player wasn’t hard enough, those unfortunate to boast this profession in Iowa must play for free according to state law. Still, those with disabilities to maintain their rights after death, because no one may use a deceased person’s handicapped parking permit in the state.

It is illegal to sell drugs without the appropriate stamp

In an effort to regulate illegal drug deals, Iowa does not permit the sale or distribution of drugs or narcotics without having an Iowa drug tax stamp. Just remember, if you are looking to score some narcotics in Iowa, be sure to ask your back-alley dealer for the proper credentials first!