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You Can’t Drive With an Uncaged Bear in Missouri? Aw, They Don’t Let You Do ANYTHING!

January 13, 2015

Laws are made to protect citizens. Some laws are carefully drafted and revised to help ensure the highest level of safety, while others are little more than common sense. For example, Missouri explicitly bans motorists from having uncaged bears in their vehicles. Thank goodness! Isn’t it a relief to know that lawmakers are willing to address such important issues?

If you’re driving through Missouri and see a bear on the side of the road, resist the urge to stop and pick him up—even if he’s sticking out a claw and holding a cardboard sign that reads “Kansas City.”

If you’re eager to drive around with a bear in your car, you might try to find a loophole. For instance, you might slap a pair of sunglasses on your bear friend and let him drive. This is not advisable. Say what you will about Missouri police, they can probably tell the difference between a human and a bear with sunglasses.

Note that the law only forbids uncaged bears. If you happen to own a bear cage, you can transport bears wherever you like within the state of Missouri. However, getting a bear to willingly enter a cage is a different story.

Frankly, most Missouri motorists probably wouldn’t think to transport uncaged bears. This law seems less like a public safety measure and more like an open dare to Missouri outlaws—people who bend the rules just because they can. It’s only a matter of time before hardened bikers start riding around with bears in their sidecars.

Traffic laws—no matter how outlandish—can come with serious consequences. For help addressing your traffic-related charges, don’t hesitate to schedule an appointment with Janet Altschuler of Tucson. Janet Altschuler is an experienced criminal defense attorney who is dedicated to defending Tucson residents.

This article is part of a collection of The Most Ridiculous Laws in the United States! Some of these laws are downright hard to believe. Do you know what might be illegal in your state?


What to Do If You Are Charged with a DUI

January 11, 2015

Like most drivers, you probably assume that you could never be charged with a DUI. However, there’s always a chance that a police officer could catch you at the worst possible moment, put you in handcuffs, and begin the formal booking process. Even if you’re fairly certain that you will be convicted, you should consider having a skilled lawyer help you address your charges and represent your interests in court.

Post Bail

Shortly after you are charged, a judge will set a bail amount that is directly related to the seriousness of your alleged offense. The bail amount can be anywhere from $50 to thousands of dollars if you are a repeat offender. Once you post bail, you can await your future court dates from home. If a family member cannot provide enough bail money, you might consider obtaining a bail bond.

Contact a Lawyer

Calling a lawyer is the best thing you can do after being charged with a DUI. An attorney can help ensure that your rights are protected while you’re being held in custody. During your arrest, you’ll hear the phrase, “You have the right to remain silent.” To prevent yourself from incriminating yourself, you should exercise this right and let your attorney do the talking for you.

Organize Your Defense

Together, you and your DUI attorney will discuss the details of the case, investigate the circumstances surrounding the arrest, and organize your defense. If the arresting officer fails to follow the proper protocol, it might be possible to get your charges dropped. Even if there’s little doubt that you are guilty, an experienced lawyer can help secure a fair plea deal.

You should never accept your charges without seeking legal representation. If you or a loved one is currently facing DUI charges, contact Janet Altschuler, a criminal defense attorney in Tucson. Janet has been defending clients for nearly 20 years, and she has what it takes to help you navigate the criminal justice system.

Don’t Forget to Close the Fence in Wyoming!

January 10, 2015

This country is split into states partly because each region has its own particular concerns. For example, Florida is one of the only states with laws that specifically protect manatees, while Colorado has laws designed to protect downhill skiers. Wyoming, which is the least populous state in the country, has laws designed to protect cattle.

It is illegal to leave a livestock fence open in Wyoming. Those found guilty of doing so may be fined up to $750. The cattle population is more than double the person population in Wyoming. Since cattle farming accounts for such a large portion of the state’s economy, it makes sense for the law to protect Wyoming’s bovine citizens.

The law doesn’t just protect Wyoming’s cows—it’s also an important public safety measure. If cows are allowed to escape their enclosures, they may wander onto the highway and cause an auto accident. The law protects cattle ranchers, too, as it reduces the likelihood of losing valuable heads of cattle.

In addition to keeping their gates closed, ranchers are responsible for replacing broken fences or missing bars. After all, a section of missing fence is basically the same as an open gate.

If you ever visit Wyoming, be sure to close any gates that you open. Though leaving a gate open may grant freedom to a few lucky cows, it will also lead to a hefty fine and an uncomfortable encounter with an angry rancher.

Even if you consider yourself a law-abiding citizen, there’s always a chance that you’ll get in trouble with the law. If you ever face criminal charges in the Tucson area, let criminal defense attorney Janet Altschuler protect your interests. The criminal justice system is more complicated than you realize; it’s important to have a seasoned expert help you navigate it.

This article is part of a collection of The Most Ridiculous Laws in the United States! Some of these laws are downright hard to believe. Do you know what might be illegal in your state?


Don’t Sing Off Key in North Carolina and Other Wacky Laws

January 8, 2015

Most laws are easy to follow. For example, you can probably go a full day without stealing or vandalizing property. There are some laws, however, that you can break without even realizing it. Other laws are so absurd that you wouldn’t even think to violate them in the first place. North Carolina is one of many states where you’ll encounter a long list of absurd laws. Here are just a few.

Don’t Sing Off Key

If you’re planning on singing in North Carolina, you should strongly consider taking voice lessons. According to an old myth, it’s technically illegal to sing off key in the state. The origin of this law is thought to come from a 19th century court case in which a man was fined for singing loudly and poorly. However, the case may have had more to do with disturbing the peace than being out of tune.

Don’t Steal More Than $1000 of Grease

For most people, grease is just another form of waste. For others, it’s a valuable fuel source. The sudden demand for grease has led North Carolina to add another law to its books—it is now illegal for anyone to steal more than $1000 worth of grease. If you happen to see $999 worth of grease, by all means, take it—but God help you if you take $1000 worth.

Elephants Cannot Plow Cotton Fields

If you happen to have a pet elephant, it’s probably not a good idea to plant cotton. Though your elephant may be strong and vigorous, North Carolina law won’t let you use him to plow your cotton fields. This law shouldn’t make you too sad; a tractor is much better suited to plowing, anyway.

If you ever find yourself in trouble with the law in Arizona, consider reaching out to Janet Altschuler of Tucson. Janet has nearly two decades of experience arguing on behalf of Arizonans. Whether your charge is a result of a grave mistake or a wrongful accusation, Janet Altschuler will represent your interests in court.

This article is part of a collection of The Most Ridiculous Laws in the United States! Some of these laws are downright hard to believe. Do you know what might be illegal in your state?


Please: Drive Cautiously on Nebraska’s Mountain Roads. It’s the Law.

January 6, 2015

Nebraska is truly magnificent to behold. When most people think of this Midwest state, they imagine ice-capped peaks, cascading waterfalls, and rocky crags stretching beyond the horizon. Nebraska, without a doubt, is Disneyland for mountaineers—a dazzling place where bold men and women can ascend miles into the sky and breathe the exhilarating perfume of the heavens.

Wait a minute—there must be some mistake. Nebraska is actually one of the flattest states in the country. Why, then, is there a law that urges drivers to drive carefully on mountain roads? Sure, Nebraska is a wonderful state, but it’s certainly not known for its mountain roads. For a state to have mountain roads, you see, it first needs to have actual mountains.

Here is an excerpt from Nebraska statute 60-6,181: “The driver of a motor vehicle traversing defiles, canyons, or mountain highways shall hold such motor vehicle under control and as near the right-hand side of the highway as reasonably possible.”

Lack of mountain roads aside, it seems foolish that a statute would explicitly request drivers to hold their vehicles “under control.” This must be a serious disappointment for all those Nebraskans who enjoy driving blindfolded up and down Nebraska’s non-existent mountain roads.

If you come across a mountain in Nebraska—which will be highly unlikely for the next, say, 12 million years—remember to drive on the right side of the road. If you have trouble remembering which side of the road you should drive on, just think back to the last time you drove on a U.S. road. Any road at all.

Arizona, on the other hand, has plenty of mountain roads. If you get into any sort of trouble near Tucson, contact Janet Altschuler. Attorney Janet Altschuler has over 17 years of experience helping Arizona residents navigate the criminal justice system.

This article is part of a collection of The Most Ridiculous Laws in the United States! Some of these laws are downright hard to believe. Do you know what might be illegal in your state?


You Can’t Do What? Crazy California Laws

January 5, 2015

Laws are designed to protect the general public from danger. However, lawmakers tend to get a bit carried away when drafting certain laws. California, like most other states, still has a few archaic and downright ridiculous laws on the books. Here’s a brief look at some of California’s silliest laws.

Frisbees on the Beach

The beach is a popular place for recreation in California. Some of the most-visited beaches in the state can be found in Los Angeles County. Oddly enough, there used to be a Los Angeles County law that seriously compromised beachside fun. Up until 2012, it was illegal for beachgoers to throw a Frisbee on the beach without the permission of a lifeguard. Though no tickets were issued in the 40 years prior to the law change, local lawmakers ultimately determined that the law was too silly to exist.

Public Animal Mating

Generally speaking, animals will do whatever they want. If their owners aren’t looking, animals will eat where they want, go to the bathroom wherever they want, and even mate wherever they want. Under California law, however, animals are supposedly not allowed to do what comes naturally within 1500 feet of a school, tavern, or place of worship. This law certainly gives new meaning to the term “californication.”

Shooting Game from a Moving Vehicle

Since California has a lot of wild territory, it’s a very popular state among hunters. However, hunting is highly regulated in the state. For example, it’s illegal to shoot wild game from a moving vehicle. There is one notable exception, however—whale hunting. While this may seem ludicrous, it makes some sense when you stop to think about it. Have you ever tried hunting a whale from a completely stationary boat?

While it’s fun to laugh at other states’ goofy laws, Arizona has plenty of outdated laws of its own. Whether you’re charged with an utterly ridiculous law or a legitimate one, Tucson criminal defense attorney Janet Altschuler can argue on your behalf.

This article is part of a collection of The Most Ridiculous Laws in the United States! Some of these laws are downright hard to believe. Do you know what might be illegal in your state?


Spending More Than 30 Days on a Boat in Georgia: ILLEGAL

December 31, 2014

People find a lot of creative ways to live. Some people live on the open road, while others build themselves extraordinary homes. Have you ever heard of the old woman who lived in the shoe? Though there are a million different ways to live in the State of Georgia, one way has been expressly forbidden: living on a boat.

In 1992, the Georgia legislature made it illegal to spend more than 30 days on a boat in one calendar year. Run-down floating houses along the Altamaha River were the impetus of this legislation; residents found these houseboats ugly and were concerned about their effect on the environment.

For years after its passage, the live-aboard law made a lot of boat enthusiasts upset. It was especially tough for boaters from Florida who sailed north to escape hurricanes. Many of these people sailed straight through to South Carolina, where there were no such live-aboard restrictions.

Also, there was the issue of how to enforce this law. Would police officers have to watch all boats and make sure their owners got off within 30 days? Even if Georgia had the greatest police force on the planet, they probably wouldn’t dedicate precious resources to enforcing such a benign misdemeanor.

Because of this silly law, many people in the Southeast began to see Georgia as an unfriendly place for boaters. In 2011, the Georgia legislature eventually bowed to pressure from boating enthusiasts and relaxed the law to 90 days. While it’s a step in the right direction, you still can’t build that Chattahoochee River palace you were dreaming of.

Though it’s fun to laugh at other states, Arizona has plenty of its own questionable laws. If you believe you have been unjustly charged with a crime, consider enlisting the help of Janet Altschuler, a skilled and experienced criminal defense lawyer in Tucson.

This article is part of a collection of The Most Ridiculous Laws in the United States! Some of these laws are downright hard to believe. Do you know what might be illegal in your state?


North Dakota, Pretzels, and Beer: Yes, These Things Are Somehow Connected

December 29, 2014

As an American, you’re free to have whatever food and drink combination you want. If you so choose, you can have red meat and Kool-Aid, Diet Coke and goat cheese, or orange juice and pickles. However, there’s one food and drink combination that’s forbidden in the state of North Dakota: beer and pretzels. Or so the legend goes.

Though this “crime” may be fun to discuss at dinner parties (especially those that serve beer and pretzels), North Dakota’s supposed ban on beer and pretzels is actually a false interpretation of the state’s statutes. Over time, people have sprinkled this falsehood throughout the internet like salt on a pretzel.

In North Dakota, as in most other states, it’s illegal for people under the age of 21 to enter establishments that sell alcohol. However, a minor can eat at a place that serves alcohol in a separate room or makes more money from food than alcohol. Since bars do not typically have separate areas for food, some people assume that food—including pretzels—cannot be served in such establishments.

This is, of course, ridiculous; denying food to inebriated individuals is much more dangerous than mixing beer and pretzels. Unless you have high blood pressure, in which case you should probably cut down on sodium.

The next time you have a beer at a North Dakota bar, go ahead and order a bowl of pretzels—you won’t end up in jail. You could covertly whisper your order to the bartender if you wish, but you’ll likely get a strange look with your pretzels.

If you ever face more substantial charges, set up an appointment with Tucson criminal defense attorney Janet Altschuler. Janet Altschuler has over 17 years of experience defending Tucson clients, and can help you face your charges head on.

This article is part of a collection of The Most Ridiculous Laws in the United States! Some of these laws are downright hard to believe. Do you know what might be illegal in your state?


You Can’t Sell Your Children in Florida…the Most Obvious Law Ever

December 20, 2014

Parenthood is hard. After months or years of sleepless nights, some parents may daydream about the disappearance of their children. New parents might casually joke about selling their children on the black market and fetching enough money for a lengthy jaunt to Barbados. Unfortunately for these enterprising parents, selling children is illegal.

Though selling children is already illegal under federal law, Florida lawmakers felt the need to include it in the state’s statues as well. It’s a good thing they did! Otherwise, parents would probably sell their children all the time! Florida would likely be peppered with child department stores and drive-thru child dispensaries. The shopping channel would have late night infomercials that offer three children for the price of one if you call in the next seven minutes! Except—wait a minute—selling children is already a federal crime. Never mind—none of that would happen.

Like most parents, you love your children unconditionally. Though they may throw tantrums, get in trouble at school, and refuse to eat their vegetables, they’re still the most precious things in the world to you. You may find the existence of such a common-sense law insulting or at least baffling—especially since there’s already a federal law that says almost exactly the same thing.

This is one of those laws that seems obvious and unnecessary at first glance; however, Florida’s probably better off with this law on the books. When parenting gets tough, parents need to know that there’s no loophole when it comes to selling children—even if they’re being very unruly.

If you find yourself in trouble with the law in the Tucson area, turn to criminal defense attorney Janet Altschuler. Having an experienced attorney by your side can greatly increase your chances of clearing your name in court.

This article is part of a collection of The Most Ridiculous Laws in the United States! Some of these laws are downright hard to believe. Do you know what might be illegal in your state?


Don’t Let Your Dog Pursue a Bear or Bobcat in California- it’s Illegal!

December 10, 2014

Hunting has a long tradition in the United States. A good dog and a trusty rifle were especially important for taming the California frontier during the 19th century. However, most people agree that modern-day California is civilized—even despite the wild antics of some Hollywood celebrities. As a result, some old hunting practices have been deemed unnecessary and even cruel.

On January 1, 2013, it became illegal for Californians to hunt bears and bobcats with the aid of dogs. The idea is that hunting large ferocious mammals in this way is cruel to both the dogs and the animals being hunted. However, many hunters insist that hunting with dogs is an ancient tradition that is actually more humane than the circumstances large mammals endure in the wild.

Though it’s now illegal to hunt bears with the assistance of dogs, bear hunting without dogs is still legal, and some would say necessary. California allows hunters to harvest a total of 1,700 black bears each year to help control the population. Bobcat hunting in California is similarly regulated. Individual hunters can hunt no more than five bobcats per season, which runs from October 15 through February 28.

If you’re planning to hunt bears or bobcats in California, leave your pooch at home. Though it may be tempting to relive the ancient tradition of hunting with a hound, doing so may expose your dog to injury or yourself to persecution. If your best friend is feeling sad about missing the hunt, you can always save him a piece of jerky.

Janet Altschuler is a skilled and experienced criminal defense attorney in Tucson. Whether you stand accused of an Arizona hunting law or a drug-related offense, Janet Altschuler can help defend you in court.

This article is part of a collection of The Most Ridiculous Laws in the United States! Some of these laws are downright hard to believe. Do you know what might be illegal in your state?